Chasing Spiritual Awakening
Some photos resurfaced on my phone recently. They were taken shortly after what I once called my spiritual awakening.
I was reminded that I was someone who was doing everything a spiritual person should do— meditating first thing every morning, practicing advanced asana, adhering to a strict vegetarian diet, going to kirtan to chant my heart out. I also pulled tarot cards daily, visited my astrologer often, hoping to tap into the universe a little more.
From the outside, it looked like I had it all together.
So I was genuinely confused when “negative” emotions still showed up.
When Spirituality Becomes an Escape
I thought I had done enough to rise above them—to transcend what was felt on the cellular level.
When they persisted, I assumed I simply wasn't "spiritual" enough.
I thought I simply wasn’t cleansed enough, so I doubled down: mantra, palo santo, sage, crystals…
What I didn’t realize then was that I was spiritually bypassing.
Psychologist John Welwood coined the term spiritual bypassing to describe the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid unresolved emotional wounds.
Don't get me wrong — all spiritual practices are beautiful and meaningful in its own way.
But for someone like me in the past, it became a bypass to avoid meeting myself honestly.
And to avoid what felt uncomfortable.
The Hierarchy of "High" and "Low" Vibrations
My emotions became ranked in a hierarchy. Enlightenment sat at the top. Grief, anger, fear, and sadness were relegated to the bottom—dismissed as "low vibrations."
Somewhere along the way, I had come to believe that being spiritual only meant climbing along the linear hierarchy to reach the highest.
But in reality, the process became an accumulation of what was never processed.
What Somatic Yoga Taught Me Instead
It wasn’t until I found somatic yoga that something shifted.
For the first time, I experienced that I could deeply love myself without the condition of enlightenment.
More importantly, I didn't have to sweep my emotions under the carpet to achieve enlightenment.
I could move, transform and alchemize them.
And it was in such a space when things began to soften.
Lighter. More honest. More human.
Especially as a householder—navigating through responsibilities, chores, and the full range of emotions.
Simply knowing that the "low vibes" and what not are just as much a part of being alive.
Today, spirituality feels much less like climbing a ladder toward enlightenment.
You stopped trying to become a better version of yourself and started becoming a more integrated version of yourself.
It feels more like coming home to the body.