So Now I Am A Mom
My daughter made her grand entrance to the world just before last year ended. Since then, time has taken on a different rhythm—cycles of feeding, changing, holding, soothing. And sleep deprivation, of course.
Lately she has been having a hard time falling asleep. And in those long, tender moments, when she’s fussy and can’t settle, I do what parents do—rocking, humming, patting, white noise.
I breathe with her, holding her through waves of stress hormones.
Helping her to feel safe enough to soften.
As I slow my own breathing, soften my shoulders, and let my voice become quieter, I notice something remarkable. She isn't responding to my instructions. She is responding to my state.
Before babies learn language, they learn nervous systems. They borrow ours until they can regulate their own.
And I found myself wondering: isn’t this the same as what I did when I was teaching somatic yoga?
Why Babies Can't Simply Fall Asleep
Let's circle back to where this discussion started: why can’t babies just close their eyes and fall asleep when they’re tired?
Because they are overstimulated or overwhelmed. We adults, too. More often than we'd like.
We stop crying when we're overwhelmed—not because we've become well regulated, but because we've learned to hide it. The dysregulation doesn't disappear. It simply changes its language: irritability, brain fog, shallow breathing, endless scrolling, difficulty sleeping.
But we don't have to.
The Nervous System We Borrow From Each Other
Motherhood has quietly rewritten my definition of yoga.
If someone asked me today what yoga means, I wouldn't begin with flexibility or even philosophy.
I would begin with regulation: the capacity to notice what is happening inside us. The courage to stay with it. The wisdom to help ourselves return—not to perfection, but to safety.
Not chasing poses. Not performing spirituality. But creating enough space to feel.
Because perhaps healing doesn't begin when we stretch farther.
Perhaps it begins when the nervous system finally realizes it no longer has to brace.